Book: The Leadership Gap

“The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness” By Lolly Daskal

• “The problem is that one day, suddenly what once worked so well to propel their rise stops working. And the very same traits that had worked for them actually start working against them.”
• “What is the gap between who I am and who I want to be, and do I know what it is I still need to learn?”
• “Frankl taught me that when we can’t change a situation we’re in, we have to change ourselves.”
• “We must let go of the lie we planned, so as to accept the one is waiting for us.”
• archetypes of leadership
  • “The Rebel, driven by confidence; and the Imposter, plagued by self-doubt.”
  • “The Explorer, fueled by intuition; and the Exploiter, mast of manipulation.”
  • “The Truth Teller, embraces candor; and her twin, the Deceiver, who creates suspicion.”
  • “The Hero, embodies courage; and the Bystander, a coward if there ever was one.”
  • “The Inventor, brimming with integrity; and the Destroyer, is morally corrupt.”
  • “The Navigator, trusts and is trusted; and the Fixer, endlessly arrogant.”
  • “The Knight, loyalty is everything; and the Mercenary, who is perpetually self-serving.”
• “Great leaders have the ability to rethink who they are–they are open to learning, changing, and growing as leaders.”
• “Great leaders know that they don’t need to have all the answers. What’s more important in leadership is asking questions, avoiding assumptions, and pausing to rethink the situation at hand.”
• “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms–to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
• “I see leadership style as an arc that is in a constant state of movement and change–we shift fro one style to another depending on the situation. But at one time or another, in one circumstance or another, we tend to lean repeatedly toward the same archetype persona.”
• “As humans we will never be perfect, but we can be the best versions of ourselves. And the way to become the best versions of ourselves is to recognize our leadership gaps, leverage our knowledge in new ways, and sand in our greatness.”
• “You can’t have the good without the bad, you cannot recognize beauty without ugliness, and you cannot know happiness without unhappiness. All of your so-called faults can be your greatest assets. Ironically, understanding your weakness is your greatest strength. You have to embrace the gaps in what you know in order to leverage them.”
• “The rebel sees something that isn’t right in the world and then does everything in his power to correct it.”
• “Rebels start revolutions–but not in the way you’d expect. Avoiding revolts and uprisings, rebels are the quiet warriors who embark on quests to achieve remarkable things. They overcome formidable obstacles ot save the project, the team, or the company. They ask themselves, ‘How can I push the envelope?'”
• “He has a ability to see when a process, a team, a department, an organization, or an idea can e improved; and he can put all of his efforts and focus into bringing about the necessary change–often quietly, calmly, and behind the scene, without much fanfare or accolades. Rebels help others discover the confidence within them–enlisting them to their cause. Rebels lead from within.”
• “The more skill you have, the more talent you have; the more competent you feel, the more competent you know you are; and–ultimately–the more confident you will be.”
• “We think confidence comes easy but it doesn’t.”
• “We think confidence brings us success when it doesn’t.”
• “We think confidence is all we need to do well on the job and in our lives when, in reality, it si confidence combined with competence that makes leaders great.”
• “Confidence is believing you are able.”
• “Competence is knowing you are able.”
• “irrational self-doubt–which takes the form of imposter syndrome–takes no prisoners; it doesn’t care what economic or social background you come from, what field or position you are in, or what talents or abilities you may have. It can be especially hard on high achievers–especially those who are repressing their abilities to be rebels.”
• The imposter archetypes:
  • “Frauds believes that they do not deserve success and that they are pretenders. Frauds are constantly ridden with guilt and feel ashamed about something, and they don’t believe they are as smart as everyone thinks they are.”
  • “Perfectionists believe any outcome short of perfection is a dismal failure. This belief undermines their confidence and sets them up for failure.”
  • “Operators have a list of all the things that need to get done, and don’t feel good until everything is working smoothly–which may never happen.”
  • “Pleaser think ‘Am I good enough? Do I add value to people? If don’t add value, I am worthless.’ Beneath it all, pleasers think it is impossible for people to like them, so they do everything they can to make people love them.”
  • “Comparers can’t stop reminding themselves that someone is smarter, better, faster, leaner, and wiser than they are.”
  • “Saboteurs have a voice of fear–not just fear of failure, but fear of success. Saboteurs have a way of showing up every time significance knocks and greatness is at the door. They are so frightened of their own greatness that they will do anything in their power to keep playing small, in order to protect themselves from possible failure and shame.”
• How to leverage the imposter within you
  • “Stop comparing yourself to others.”
  • “Remind yourself there is no such thing as perfect.”
  • “Make a list of your accomplishments.”
  • “Create an inner circle that supports you.”
• To be a rebel leader
  • “Cultivate self-awareness. Leading with confidence is not about always knowing the answers; it’s about knowing what you know and don’t know. To be a rebel leader means being honest with yourself about your competence and your personal strengths and weakness; neither underestimate nor overestimate your capabilities.”
  • “Assess your skills. As a leader in pursuit of greatness, it’s critical to objectively identify your skills and competencies, and constantly work to improve what you can to become what you believe you can be.”
  • “Part with being perfect. Striving for perfection will not get you to your greatness.”, “Becoming a great leader doesn’t mean perfect. It only means you’re able to live with your imperfections.”
  • “Stop comparing yourself to others.”
  • “Learn to be adaptable.”
  • “Stay strong when rest go weak.”
  • “Be driven by a cause.”
• “man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” –Andre Gide
• “Explorers are the pathfinders, pioneers, and the seekers who drive organizations, communities, and the human race forward. They are dissatisfied with the way things are, and are restless to find new approaches, new solutions, and new ventures. Explorers use their intuition to test the boundaries and limits of what is known. They reject the status quo and doing things just because they’ve always been done that way. They ask, ‘What can I discover?'”
• “Explorers are intuitive–they listen to their inner voice and their gut, and use the knowledge gained to make decisions. Instead of relying only on their rational thought processes, they balance their thinking with a strong infusion of intuition.”
• “Intuition doesn’t make us confused; it does not make us doubt. It feels clear and concise.”
• “Intuition doesn’t give us reasons. It won’t tell you why, where, or how.”
• “A decision made using our intuition usually has no agenda and no emotional attachment to any particular outcome. It just knows. It just feel right.”
• “Intuition is knowledge based on experience, stored deeply within the brain, and available quickly and on demand.”
• How to cultivate intuition
  • “Learning never ends. The more you learn, the more you know; the more wisdom you accumulate, the more the answers will seem obvious to you.”
  • “The nature of the explorer is accumulate an arsenal of proficiencies, so that when you bump up against a problem, your solutions come quickly, swiftly, and decisively.”
  • “Trust your inner sense. Intuition, or your gut instance, is your omnipresent sixth sense–and just as important as the standard five. Intuition informs the process of self-communication, moving information from the subconscious mind to the conscious mind.”
  • “Assess what you are capable of doing and what you still need to learn to get the job done. Have the insight to know when to take action and when not to.”
  • “Explorers trust themselves implicitly. They rely on their intuition to take action. When your intuition is strong, follow it.”
• “More important, sometimes rational thought can lead you down the wrong path.”
• “The leadership gap for the explorer archetype is the tendency to use intuition to manipulate others in order to gain control. When leaders don’t allow their employees to think for themselves, when they micromanage or become controlling, they are leading with manipulation.”
• “Closing the leadership gap between an explorer and an exploiter begins with recognizing the fine line between intuition and manipulation. Whereas intuition makes things better for others, manipulation is always about making things better for you.”
• “Instead of preying on the weak, look for ways to praise people.”
• “Don’t use people’s weakness against them.”
• “Don’t make others give up something in order to serve your own self-interest.”
• “mean what you say and say what you mean.”, “If you want the people around you to respect and trust you, start by being mindful of what you say. When you make a promise, keep your commitment. When you say you will do something, do it.”
• “The explorer looks for things to change, improve, or infuse with new vision. He craves the adventure of finding new things in old places. The explorer is willing to make dangerous, difficult, or unique journeys for the main purpose of disrupting things.”
• “The explorer has a unique ability to envision new realities and a need to feed his ideas to the world. He has the discipline for intense, careful, and thorough research; and he creates by first reading, studying, and talking to people.”
• “The explorer has the self-assurance to push himself to new, exciting places–and his company, team, or organizations to new lands.”
• “The explorer has extreme passion for his ideas and learns how to sell his vision to others.”
• “He isn’t afraid to make commitments swiftly without running the numbers first. He is comfortable relying on what limited data he can gather, trusting his gut to make a decision. In other words, the explorer leads with intuition.”
• “Rational thinking can become a hurdle when it paralyzes your analysis, blocks intuition, focuses too much on perfection, highlights fears, and prevent new learning. The explorer doesn’t force his mind into boxes; he allows it to be free in order to reveal what he already knows.”
• “The explorer maintain game-day fitness–emotionally, physically, and mentally. He is equipped to withstand those who would knock him down and question his vision–especially those who resist following intuition.”
• “The truth teller strongly believes that he owes it to his people, customers, and communities to e open, sincere, and honest at all times. the truth teller will not hesitate to tell the truth, even if it means that his candor makes people uncomfortable. He speaks with openness and honest, driven by a sincere desire to help, and the authentic intention to be of service to others. For truth tellers, speaking up is a duty. The truth teller always asks himself, ‘Where should I speak up?'”
• “When we are deceived, it can hurt like hell and it an make us angry. But it can also create a severe leadership gap by making us paranoid and suspicious of others.”
• “Withholding information is worse than disclosing the truth–not only for ourselves but also for those we manage.”
• “Suspicion is like a virus–once it infiltrates hearts and minds, it affects how we think, act, and lead.”
• To avoid being a deceiver
  • “Sometimes you become a deceiver because there are parts of you that feel inadequate, insecure, or even vulnerable, and they cause you great shame. This can make you cover it all up with a whole bunch of lies.” “Who you are–weaknesses and all–should be okay. If not, use your feelings to change your direction and make things different. Don’t let your pride get the best of you, and work on bringing out the best parts of who you are.”
  • “Stop hiding from the truth. Because the truth is your future, your future may depend on how will you manage to preserve a commitment to the truth in the face of all the deception around you. Ask yourself why you need to deceive, what gains you get, and if it is really worth it.”
  • “Admit when you are not telling the truth.”
  • “People who tend to deceive see the world in black and white. They hae this rigidity to them about what is right or wrong, fact or fiction; and they are always drawing a line in the sand. But life doesn’t work that way. Nothing is all of this and nothing of that. As a human being, your inflexibility can lead to your failure.”
• Becoming a truth teller leader
  • “Honest leaders, the leaders who are truth tellers, cultivate a culture of candor. Otherwise people are driven by mistrust, misgivings, and misunderstandings. Most of all, they are driven by fear–and when fear is present, lying beings.”
  • “Communicate, communicate, communicate, and hold nothing back. Unless there is specific, honest reason for not sharing information, employees should be told everything of importance to them. Managers who keep saying they have a culture of candor but aren’t truly transparent will demolish trust and create suspicion in their organization. Don’t be the kind of leader who allows rumors to fester and gossip to grow. Be the kind of leader who communicates and engages.”
  • “Instead of blaming your employees when things go wrong, look for solutions. People should feel free to make mistakes, because it is a normal part of a person’s growth and development, and it will also prevent them from lying to cover up mistakes in the future. Cultivate a culture of candor, in which owning up to your mistakes is okay and it is safe to fail publicly.”
  • “Get rid of the roadblocks that keep people from performing, and do all that you can to eliminate policies and principles that create liars. If you advocate honesty, don’t punish the messenger. If you ask for candor, don’t discipline the truth teller.”
  • “The cultures that thrive are the culture that continually treat everyone the same. Don’t let people feel as though they are against one another; make them feel they are important. Don’t play favorites, and don’t reward suck-ups.”
  • “Do all that you can to let others know that you will not hire or tolerate liars, deceivers, and cheats.”
  • “Provide them with a vision and a path for getting there, and then reward them for being truth tellers and for speaking with candor.”
• “When others stand on the sidelines, waiting for someone to step up, heroes are the ones who don’t hesitate to act. Heroes are courageous–they are willing to put their careers at risk for a shot at greatness.”
• “Heroes act when others of lesser courage will not.”
• “heroes act in spite of fear and overwhelming opposition.”
• “Most of us are not really afraid of being brave–we are afraid of what it takes to be brave. Heroes consistently ask themselves, ‘What is courage needed?'”
• “We are not really afraid of losing everything–we are afraid of what will happen when we have nothing. When you understand what you are afraid of, you can learn what it means to be courageous.”
• “[Brene] Brown says, ‘Daring greatly is about showing up and being seen. It’s about owning our vulnerability and understanding it as the birthplace of courage and the other meaningful experiences in our lives.'”
• “According to Zimbardo’s research heroism is an activity that has four different and distinct characteristics:
  • It is performed in service to others in need, or in defense of certain ideals.
  • It is engaged in voluntarily.
  • It is performed with the recognition of possible risks and costs–to one’s physical health or personal reputation–in which the person is willing to accept anticipated sacrifice.
  • It is performed without external gain anticipated at the time of the act.”
• To overcome lack of courage to speak up and do nothing
  • “First, we acknowledged and named the elephant in the room–allowing people to speak up without fear or negative repercussions.”
  • “Second, we neutralized the blame game–explaining that it was more important to move forward than to look back.”
  • “Third, we rallied people together as a community.”
  • “Finally we kept the team moving forward by providing them with a compelling vision and purposeful mission.”
• “The ones who speak up are courageous, and we hail them as heroes. Then there are those who do nothing, and we call them bystanders.”
• “The bystander effect is the tendency for individuals in a group to avoid taking heroic action when other group members don’t take heroic action themselves. According to researchers, the more people there are in a group, the greater the tendency of the individuals in it to act as bystanders.”
• “The fact is that when bullying or intimidation occurs in the workplace, many people just stand by and watch. most people believe that someone else will handle it, or that the people being bullied can take care of themselves. When nothing is done to help a coworker when he or she is being bullied, this is the bystander effect in action.”
• “To find the hero within, you have to make it safe for people to be courageous by cushioning their fall. You do that by allowing people to be themselves. Because when you make it safe for people to be themselves, you make it safe for them to take chances and to take risks.”
• To leverage your inner bystander
  • “If you hear disrespect, say something; if you see misconduct, do something. All questionable behavior should be addressed immediately to keep a situation from escalating. Your purpose is not to watch things pass you buy; your purpose is to see something and do something about it.”
  • “Instead of playing the bystander role, put a plan in motion to change what needs to be changed in order for you to be happy and successful.”
  • “Your bravery, fearlessness, and courage have to start today–you cannot just stand by and wish for it to happen. You have to be the one who makes it happen. no one is going to come and rescue you or fix things for you.”
  • “Learn to exercise more empathy, and let someone know you are there for them, to help them, guide them, and support them if they need you. Don’t make assumptions–not everyone is as courageous or as fearless as you are. Be the person you know you can be and stop just standing by and allowing life to pass you by.”
• “Great leaders aren’t just heroes; they’re also servants–to their people, their customers, their communities, and the world at large.”, “But when you lead as a hero–with a servant heart–and you do so courageously, and with the goal of having people work toward something greater than themselves, you can accomplish any goals you set for yourself and your organization.”
• “You have courageous leadership when people trust your decisions instead of silently resisting your every move.”
• “You have a courageous culture when employees raise the red flag on projects that are going south instead of hiding issues until they build into full-blown catastrophes.”
• “You have a courageous team when employees come to you with remedies to problems they are facing, instead of dumping problems in your lap.”
• “You have a courageous company when your people are candid and engaged during status meetings, instead of politely nodding their heads every time you speak.”
• “Becomes a hero by being courageous, and make a commitment to challenge all that is wrong in whatever from it takes–doing so with moral courage linked to righteous character.”
• “Let the most valued private virtues of courage and compassion be your guiding light regardless of whether or not you feel ready. Be heroic in thought and action.”
• “Develop a personal code of honor that you can live by proudly every day and that you are willing to share with others.”
• “Heroism is acting in service to others and on behalf of others. Heroism can be developed, can be taught, and can be trained–like other vital individual characteristics. To be a hero required a sociocentric orientation rather than an egocentric one, because everyone has the capacity to be courageous.”
• “Inventors constantly search for the best way to improve processes and products and to perfect their craft. They are experimenters who make many small bets and are willing to fail in pursuit of big wins. They ask the question, ‘How can we make this better?'”
• “Character. Identifying who you are and what is right and wrong for you.”
• “To have integrity you have to know who you are, you have know what you stand for; and you have to know how to act in honor of your code. This who, what, and how all add up to create a whole person–a person who is unified, undivided, and a remarkably powerful force in the world. When a person of high integrity invents, there is no stopping him.”
• “A person of integrity is willing to bear the consequences of his innovations–whether it be disrupting a marketplace or changing lives.”
• Integrity is cultivated by:
  • “Honoring commitments. Be accountable and responsible for what you say and do.”
  • “Speaking with honesty. An uncomfortable truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie will hurt forever. Having integrity is speaking the whole truth, even when it may have a negative effect on the relationship.”
  • “Maintaining a consistent moral code. Doing what is right is not always easy, but those who have integrity do not compromise their moral code, even if it means there will be consequences.”
  • “Embracing unwavering convictions. Innovation demands commitment. Never compromise your vision.”
  • “Treating everyone with respect. The surest way to cultivate loyalty is to treat everyone with the same respect you’d expect. Even if it does not mean anything to you, it could just mean everything to them.”
  • “Establishing trust. Where there is no trust, there is no progress. Effective leaders inspire faith in their vision. Your team has to trust you before they will follow you.”
• “When respect is earned, honesty appreciated, commitment valued, and trust gained, honesty appreciated, commitment valued, and trust gained, then integrity will surely grow.”
• “A lack of integrity is easy to detect. When words don’t match actions,, when actions don’t match promises, and when commitments are not kept, a team cannot coalesce. Innovation cannot happen. Aspiration cannot be achieved.”
• “A true test of integrity isn’t how you are on the best days, but how you act on the worst days. The inner attitude of your mind has the power to change the outer aspect of your life.”
• “Don’t allow your mind to tell your heart what to do, because the mind gives in too easily while the heart fights for its convictions. When you understand what your convictions are, they enable you to leverage your strengths and manage your weaknesses.”
•  “An inventor has integrity, a destroyer is corrupt, and the gap between them is clear. These two opposing leadership styles are distinguished by actions. The destroyer’s lack of integrity permits quick fixes, cutting corners, and compromising quality and standards. An inventor is committed to putting his personal values into practice rather than simply professing them.”
• “A destroyer tends to look at things in a negative way, canceling out the good. The only way to shift things around and to leverage the part of your creativity, talent, and strength is by cultivating a habit of looking at the positive. Positivity is a powerful tool that can be pulled out of your pocket whenever you feel vulnerable in a certain situation, or when you feel like something uncomfortable or distressing has happened.”
• “When you are constantly criticizing you don’t get more of what you want–you get less of what you need. Instead, try finding what is right with people instead of what is wrong, and watch them excel at what they do.”
• “If you want people to trust you, be trustworthy. If you want people to respect you, be respectful. If you want loyalty, be loyal.”
• “Never cut corners and never accept anything that is second-rate. Success is achieved by having integrity for a craft, a force for change, and, most of all, boldness to be honorable.”
• Become an inventor and transcend the destroyer’s leadership gap:
  • “Know yourself, and keep knowing yourself; rethink who you are at all times you are leading.”
  • “Inventors are driven to be the best they can be and judge themselves against a standard of excellence.”
  • “Do everything you say you are going to do. If for any reason you cannot keep your commitments or your promise, take responsibility.”
  • “Value truthful communication.”, “But effective communication is honest, clear, and concise.”
  • “Doing the right things isn’t always easy, especially when shortcuts beckon. But minding your leadership gaps means rethinking how you do things and why you do them. Exercise wisdom. Integrity is always the right way.”
  • “Integrity demands respect, and inventors are vigilant about being courteous and considerate. Be respectful toward cultural differences, political positions, creative opinions, and all distinctions in race, age, and sexual orientation. Inventors value original thinking and expression–and they show respect for those who exercise it.”
  • “If you don’t want to fall into a habit of corrupt, destructive practices, make striving for excellence a habit. Excellence can be doing ordinary things extraordinarily well; and most of the time if not all the time, excellence is not a skill but an attitude.”
• “You cannot navigate people if they don’t trust you. You cannot spark change in an organization if no one follows.”
• “Navigators know where they need to go and they take people there. And they do this with such credence that people trust and follow them. Navigators have a way of making the complicated simple, and the simple understandable. They masterfully steer their organization and the people within it to even better outcomes. But first, navigators must be able to navigate themselves. Navigators ask the question, ‘How can we get to where we need to go?'”
• “When you trust someone, you don’t have to worry that he will attack you, or take advantage of you, or try to tear you down. You can engage in the relationship without a care, knowing that you are safe. Being without a care is a privilege that gives us a remarkable sense of freedom and fulfillment. trust is access to another person without worry; it allows us to be carefree; it allows us to feel safe; it allows us freedom; and it allows us to be who we really are–without pretense or concern.”
• “When you do something nice for someone else, their brains will give them the push they need to drop their defenses and to respond in kind. This is the powerful biochemical basis of trust, and it is something we can build more of with those in our businesses and in our lives.”
• “The first thing I had to do was make sure he understood that if any change were going to happen, it would first have to start with him. The change would then ripple out into the organization, the culture, and his people.”
• “‘You get trust when you give trust.’ When you trust your people, when you give them what they need, when you make them part of the vision, the will trust you in return. Trust them, and they will follow your lead. Not the other way around.”
• These are the most common ways navigators violate boundaries to become fixers:
  • “When you are the uninvited helper who cannot resist the temptation to jump in and fix every single problem, it soon becomes an annoyance to those you’re trying to help. While the intention may be good, the attention is just too much.”
  • “They think they know best about what works and what does not work for others, and they exhaust themselves trying to take care of everyone else. However, perhaps even worse, the feel utterly rejected when their assistance is no longer necessary or welcomed.”
  • “Instead, you have become an emotionally dependent person who insists on helping. It’s not so much about guiding or steering, but about getting so absorbed by other people’s problems that this is used as a way of escaping the responsibility of taking care of oneself.”
  • “if how others work always frustrates you, then you are a micromanager. If you think your are the only one who can get things done–and done the wright way–you are a micromanager.”
• “If you can see elements of the fixer in your leadership style, trust is the leadership gap that stands between you and your greatness. Spend some time rethinking what you  know about trust and how it can make or break your leadership.”
• Leveraging the fixer within:
  • “Before you fix anyone, you have to fix yourself.”
  • “By helping others, you don’t allow them to fend for themselves. Instead of always offering to rescue, nurse, comfort, defend, or support, learn to be a better listener and a more understanding person. Be compassionate and considerate, but don’t offer to take over and take care of a situation that is concerning another person. Learn just to be there for someone else.”
  • “If you are a fixer, you sometimes can get swallowed up in other people’s challenges and problems and in turn lose sight of your own boundaries. If this sounds familiar to you, you can reduce this by minding your boundaries and shielding yourself from emotional hostage syndrome, which I have coined with my clients. This is when you feel things for another so strongly that you become a hostage of their emotions. When this happens you tend to lose yourself and do things you normally wouldn’t do. If you get so caught up in other people’s feelings that you lose sight of your own, establish a healthy boundary. Practice detachment from emotions of guilt and shame that can arise from the empathy that you may feel for the other, which may be leading you to do things you do not wish to do, and ultimately making you feel uncomfortable. In resisting this urge, you place responsibility for the other on them instead of on you, which is where it belongs in the first place.”
  • “If you are a fixer, you have a deep strong need to be loved or liked, and because that is true, you are extremely careful not to do anything that would cause people around you to reject or abandon you. To cover up this side of you, you tend to fix and take care of things to gain the love of others. It’s a hard truth to accept, but people don’t need you to fix things for them to love you or stick around. Don’t allow your fixing to become a relentless string of sacrifices. It never worked being the martyr–no one ever wins.
• How does one build bridges of trust with another?
  • “Pay attention to: Communication. What’s important is how people communicate–do they listen intently, or do they talk over others? Do they respond or do they react? How they communicate will determine whether or not we respect them.”
  • “Pay attention to: Commitment. What’s important is whether or not people keep their commitments. Their level of commitment will determine how we respond to them.”
  • “Pay attention to: Competence. What’s important is that people know what they are good at, and how their skills can contribute to making a difference. It is in competence that change will happen.”
  • “Pay attention to: Character. What’s important is your character. Who you are and how you act are where trust will be given, earned, and cultivated.”
• “Trust is the virtue that enforces the Golden Rule–when we treat others the way we would like to be treated, it makes the world a more moral place.”
• “Demonstrate trust by honoring. Honor is given; it is bestowed. When you are honorable, it means you live your life by a certain code of conduct–one that is virtuous and moral. People show honor to those who trust honorable individuals.”
• “Demonstrate trust by admiration. Showing admiration for people who are competent in skill and virtue–admiring them for who they are because it is something that pleases us or resonates for us. When we show admiration, we are saying ‘I repect the way you make me feel’ or ‘I respect the work that you do.'”
• “Demonstrate trust by appreciation. By showing appreciation, we recognize the accomplishment of a job well done. people might work for money, but they go the extra mile for recognition and admiration.”
• “Demonstrate trust by esteem. When you hold someone in high esteem, you are clearly demonstrating that you value him. If you have low esteem for someone, you don’t value him as much.”
• “Demonstrate by reverence. Showing others reverence comes from a profound feeling–a deep respect for another. Reverence is given to those whose virtues you hold in high regard.”
• “Knights are always asking, ‘How an I serve you?’ while others are thinking, ‘How can I serve me?'”
• “We are fortunate to find leaders who are loyal, and as leaders, we will be lucky to find people who are willing to stand by us through good times and bad. Loyalty is an essential element in both our professional and personal lives–it’s the bond that ties people together.”
• “As a leader, when you have the persona of a knight, your employees feel safe when you protect and serve them. And when they feel safe, they can make bold moves as individuals–moves that can lead your business to new opportunities and successes. Loyalty is about bonding and protecting; it is about acting as a unit–a partnership–providing security for one another, giving emotional support when necessary, and protecting those who work for us, as well as the people for whom we work.”
• Things that determine a sense of loyality
  • “A sense of trust. Trust is the foundation on which we build loyalty. If we don’t trust that someone will be consistent in his or her behavior and actions, then the loyalty we feel may be fleeting.”
  • “A sense of belonging. When we feel a sense of belonging, we feel a personal connection to another person, product, brand, or organization. We identify with someone or something, and we solidify the bonds between us through our loyalty.”
  • “A sense of purpose. When CEOs point an inspiring vision of the future, they create a sense of purpose that draws people to them, and to their product, brand, and organization–and it earns their loyalty.
• “The knight as a leader is always in service to others.”, “They view things in terms of , ‘How can I help you get this job done?’–knowing that if they pull their weight, others will pull theirs just as fiercely, and with just as much devotion.”
• “The knight knows that loyalty is about reliability. When reliability is present, people feel empowered. Yes, people are stronger when they are together. But if you knew that you had someone who is looking out for you–watching your back–you just might feel invincible.”
• “The knight has a fierce determination to be committed to his people. When leaders are fully committed to their people, the determination employees feel within is fierce. When a leader takes the stand, ‘I will do anything for my people,’ employees feel empowered to take chances.”
• “The knight demonstrates competencies.”
• “The companies that lack loyal leaders have the most difficult time hiring and retaining talented people.”
• “Embracing a self-serving attitude as a virtue means trashing any hope of love, friendship, and community–the things that bring the most fundamental joy and satisfaction to our lives.”
• “The leadership gap of the knight is a mercenary leader who cares not about serving others but only about serving himself. When the knight asks, ‘Who can I serve?’ the mercenary leader asks ‘How can I serve myself?'”
• Mercenary leaders have the following qualities
  • “When you have leaders who are not invested in those they lead–when they don’t support or coach their colleagues, or guide and mentor their team–this shows disinterest. A leader who is not committed to the growth and development of others is not fully invested in his people’s success.”
  • “When leaders don’t protect, safeguard, or defend their people, the people do not feel secure. Security is important–if there is no safety there is no loyalty.”
  • “When leaders are not accountable for their mistakes and failures, they then to blame others–including those who work for them. This breeds disloyalty among employees.”
  • “When leaders lack focus and have a hard time paying attention to details, they come across as leaders who are not competent. Leaders who cannot deliver on their obligations will not only be unsuccessful, but they will lose the faithfulness of their followers.”
• “When things are going well for a business, it’s easy to be loyal. But when things become challenging, loyalty gets tested, and that is when true loyalty prevails.”
• “Pay attention to how people respond to you. If you take a second to stop focusing exclusively on you, you will be able to tell if someone is feeling upset, annoyed, or just plain frustrated. Pay attention to their tone of voice and whether their answers are curt or short.”
• “Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.”, “be empathetic, compassionate, and understanding. This will keep you from coming across as self serving.”
• “Get to know the people around you. Do what you can to connect deeply with people, get to know them, and be sincerely interested in them. When people show an interest in you, show an interest back. When you connect with others, others will connect with you. Not everything in the world revolve around you.”
• “Whatever actions you take, think of others and not just yourself.”
• “When a leader creates and communicates a compelling vision–grounded in a worthy cause that speaks to the heart of his people–employees will always be energized by and loyal to that vision.”
• “Great leaders believe actions speak louder than words.”
• “Truly great leaders understand that listening to their people, knowing what they want from their lives–at work and at home–and knowing what drives them and sparks their passion and engagement is one of the best ways to get their loyalty.”
• “You can’t expect your employees to be loyal to you if you aren’t being honest with yourself and acting with integrity. loyalty breeds loyalty, just as dishonesty breeds dishonesty. Be truthful with your employees, even if it hurts. Respect comes when your employees know that it costs you something to be honest with them.”
• “Get to know your employees as people first, and then as workers. Seek opportunities to connect with them on a personal level. Get to know their interests, hobbies, aspirations, and goals.”

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