Book: LOVE ‘EM or LOSE ‘EM


“LOVE ‘EM or LOSE ‘EM: Getting Good People To Stay” By Beverly Kaye and Sharon Jordan-evans.

  • “Love ’em leaders genuinely care about their people. They appreciate, nurture, grow, recognize, challenge, understand, and respect them. And they believe this is the job of being a leader.”
  • “What will keep you here?”
  • “What might entice you away?”
  • “What is most energizing about your work?”
  • “Are we fully using your talents?”
  • “What is inhibiting your success?”
  • “What can I do differently to best assist you?”
  • “Next time a talented employee asks for something you think you might not be able to give, respond by using these four steps:
    1. Restate how much you value them.
    2. Tell the truth about the obstacles you face in granting their requests.
    3. Show you care enough to look into their requests and to stand up for them.
    4. Ask, ‘What else?'”
  • “most common reasons employees remain at a company”
    1. Exciting, challenging, or meaningful work
    2. Supportive management/good boss
    3. Being organized, valued, and respected
    4. Career growth, learning, and development
    5. Flexible work environment
    6. Fair pay
    7. Job location
    8. Job security and stability
    9. Pride in the organization, its mission or product
    10. Working with great coworkers or clients
    11. Fun, enjoyable work environment
    12. Good benefits
    13. Loyalty and commitment to coworkers or boss”
  • See also:
  • “Stay Interview Question
    1. What about your job makes you jump of bed in the morning?
    2. What makes you hit the snooze buttons?
    3. If you were to win the lottery and resign, what would you miss the most about your job?
    4. What one change in your current role would make you consider leaving this job?
    5. If you had a magic wand, what would be the one thing you would change about this department, team, organization?
    6. As your manager, what could I do a little more of or a little less of?
    7. If you had to go back to a position in your past and stay for an extended period of time, which one would it be and why?
    8. What do you need to learn to work at your best?
    9. What makes for a great day?
    10. What can we do to make your job more satisfying?
    11. What can we do to support your career goals?
    12. Do you get enough recognition? How do you like to be recognized?
    13. What do you want to learn this year?
  • “Start with a conversation–a ‘stay interview.’ Learn about your talented employee’s goals and what they love (or don’t love) about their work. Don’t stop with one chat. Talk (and listen) daily, weekly, monthly. Develop a true relationship with every single person you hope to keep on your team.”
  • “Ask yourself, ‘What kind of work environment do I want to create?’ Then figure out what you need to do in order to make that vision come alive.”
  • “In which areas do you wish I would give you more feedback? How can I help you feel more accomplished and successful at work?”
  • “Which of your team skills are most valued by your colleagues? How do you know? Based on their feedback, which skills do you hope to improve?
  • “You can help your employees consider options like these:
    • Move laterally (a change in job, but not necessarily a change in the level of responsibility)
    • Explore (requires answering questions like ‘What else can I do?’)
    • Enrich (seeds current job with more chances to learn and grow)
    • Realign (reconciles the demands of work with other priorities, or readies them for another area)
    • Relocate (yes, leaving the organization if the work simply cannot match a person’s skills, interests, or values)”
  • “when you trust your employees, most will be trustworthy. They will feel honored and respected when you trust them with important tasks and heavy responsibilities and when you let them do things their way. When you fail to trust them, they will often feel dishonored, disrespected, and undervalued.”
  • “To trust someone implicitly shows tremendous respect for that person.”
  • “So why should you help your best people expand their options, even if it means they leave your team?”
    •  “People love to work for someone who care enough to help them with their careers. They’ll actually stay a little longer with a development minded manager.”
    • “Your efforts could save talent for the enterprise. This is truly your job.”
    • “You will gain a reputation as a manager who cares about people and their development. That reputation will draw other talented people your way.”
    • “You may gain personal satisfaction from helping others develop.”
  • To find potential enrichment opportunities, ask…
    • “What do you enjoy most about your job?”
    • “What could be added to your job to make it more satisfying?”
    • “What assignment could advance you further in your current work?”
    • “Which of your current tasks is the most routine? Who might you train to take this over?”
  • Hiring questions
    • “How did you handle a recent situation where the direction from above was unclear and circumstances were changing?”
    • “Describe how you motivated a group of people to do something they did not want to do.”
  • “where top leaders give information as early and honestly as possible and hold managers accountable for passing the news down, employees actually feel important and valued, minimizing the productivity dip.”
  • Jack Stack’s “open book management”
    • “We are building a company in which everyone tells the truth every day–not because everyone is honest, but because everyone has access to the same information: operating metrics, financial data, valuation estimates. The more people understand what’s really going on in their company, the more eager they are to help solve its problems.”
  • “So, as a manager, when should you share information? The sooner the better!”
  • “Although employees greatly appreciate elaborate outings, most report that it is the day-to-day work environment that matters most. It has to be enjoyable.”
  • “Unplanned fun can be as simple as showing up at the staff meeting with muffins for everyone, asking a group of employees to join you for lunch at a new restaurant, or taking an unplanned coffee break to just sit and talk about families or hobbies.”
  • “Fun is a state of mind. Leaders can create this state of mind–but to do so, they must care about people, show trust and appreciation, be humble enough to join in and believe it is a good use of time! Joy is the lasting by-product of having fun and being with folks that give you energy. Leaders can bring joy to people’s lives, even when things are tough. Creating a sense of being a part of something very special is the key.” –President of a major airline company
  • “Just as we are all at the center of our own particular universe, we are also at the center of our network. We realize, of course, that all the other people are at the center of their networks, and that is how it should be. Each of the people in this network serves as a source of support (referrals, help, information) for everyone else in that network. Those who know how to use the tremendous strength of a network realize this very important fact: We are not dependent on each other; nor are we independent of each other; we are all interdependent with each other.” –Bob Burg, author of Endless Referrals
  • “As a manger, you can do a lot to create the link. Sometimes all it takes is a discussion about the history of the company, its founders, its reason for being, the important needs it meets, or what customers say the company has done for them through its product line or service.”
  • “Have regular open forum meetings. If employees feel they are being heard, they will feel a stronger connection to you and the group. Allow diverse opinions and disagreement on the way to finding solutions that work.”
  • “Encourage group outing regularly, and don’t expect people to do this on their own time. Consider allowing one paid afternoon per month–as long as it’s a team activity.”
  • “Take someone you don’t know well to lunch, and learn more about them and the work they do.”
  • “A hit movie based on the book Pay It Forward suggested that individuals offer to ‘give back’ by giving to three other people. Eventually, we’d all win.”
  • Mentoring
    • Model: “Walk the talk. Model what you want your employees to do. Help them find other good role models as well.”
    • Encourage: “Find out where they need more support–then give it. Cheer them on, in good times and bad.
    • Nurture: “Show you care about them and their unique skills and capabilities. Nurture their ideas, relationships, and them!”
    • Teach Organizational Reality: “Tell it like it is. Help them avoid those organizational minefields that are never written about in any policy manual.”
  • “If you want employees to exhibit work/life balance, demonstrate how you do it, in obvious, consistent ways. If you hope they’ll be better listeners, be a traffic listener every time you interact with them.”
  • Example of encouragement: “Recognize, Verbalize, and Mobilize. Manager: “If you like this kind of work, why not let Marc in Graphics knows, and while you’re there, find out when he’s offering his next graphics course.”
  • “Remember to encourage them when things don’t go as well as planned. If you’re there for them during the good times and bad, they’ll trust you, perform for you and stick around a while longer.”
  • “Encourage risk taking that is essential to growth. Take the culture into account as you do this!”
  • “Cheer them on–give regular positive feedback–and developmental feedback, too.”
  • “Most experts agree that replacing a key person on your staff will cost you two times that person’s annual compensation. ‘Platinum’ workers (highly skilled professionals) could easily cost you four to five times their annual salaries.”
  • “Ask your employees what opportunities they seek.”
  • “To discover opportunities, one must look at the world in a new way, through a new lens. It is impossible to make people smarter, but you can help them see with new eyes.”
  • “Look around to see what is changing in your department, division, or organization. What new projects are on the horizon?”
  • “Notice which department is expanding and which one is shrinking. There could be a perfect opportunity in a growing segment of your organization.”
  • “Who might be retiring soon or leaving for a new opportunity, opening up a possibility for one of your stars?”
  • “If your employees do not create an action plan for their careers, help them analyze why they don’t, and then help them do it. These plans should have action steps with time lines, potential obstacles, and support needed (what kind and by whom).
  • If your employees do not adhere to their plans (too busy, resources delayed), you could help them. Suggest regular meetings to discuss progress, and brainstorm solutions to obstacles.”
  • “Passion for work means that people find what they do to be so exciting that it sometimes doesn’t even feel like work–so exciting that it brings exhilaration, a ‘high.'”
  • “Ask your employees what they love to do. What are they passionate about?”
  • “Dig deeper. Ask for examples so you really understand what they are saying to you.”
  • “Get creative. Collaborate with them to find ways to either incorporate their passion into the work they do, or flex the work somehow to allow time for their passion outside work.”
  • “if you don’t help your talented employees find work they love in your organization, you will lose them.”
  • “support your employees’ attempts to reduce the number of rules in your organization. Suggest they form a silly rules committee to stamp out rules that are –you got it–silly.”
  • “Money is not the major motivator. Challenge, growth opportunities, flexibility, great coworkers, meaningful work, a good boss, and recognition (often in nonmonetary forms) are examples of things that matter more to most of your people.”
  • Reward Rules
    • “Rule #1: If an employee expects it, it may no longer be viewed as a reward.”
    • “Rule #2: Rewards need to match your employees’ needs and wants.”
  • “Ask your employees what kind of recognition or reward they most appreciate.”
  • “Praise your employees in the following ways:”
    • “Spontaneously. Catch people doing something right and thank them then and there.”
    • “Specifically. Praise people for specific (rather than generic) accomplishments or efforts.”
    • “Purposefully. Take an employee to lunch or dinner at a great restaurant to show your appreciation of work will done.”
    • “Privately. Go to your employee’s office to give a personal thank-you  and praise. (Verbal thank-yous are critical.)
    • “Publicly. Praise an employee in the presence of others (peers, family members, your boss).”
    • “In writing. Send a card, letter, memo, or e-mail. Possibly send a copy to team members or higher-level management. Don’t forget–written thank-yous are a coveted workplace incentive.”
  • “One boss created a days-off bank. He put 25 days in the bank and then used those days to reward individuals and teams for outstanding performance.”
  • “Encourage your talented people to notice their colleagues’ contributions, large and small, and to thank them for it. It will catch on and soon you’ll have a culture steeped in recognition.”
  • “Sometimes it’s a small sum ($50-$100) to put toward whatever the rewarded employee wants.”
  • “The next time your talented employee asks you for a break, get creative (with the employee) about finding a way to make it happen. Your employee will feel supported, and the odds of your retaining that talent will go up.”
  • “Let your employee manage more aspects of their own work, without direct supervision.”
  • “Trust them to get it right and then assist when they need your help.”
  • “Allow them to try new ways of accomplishing their tasks, even if ‘it’s never been done that way before.'”
  • “Notice when you interrupt your employees. Use the blinking word technique. Let them do the talking while you do the listening. Let them finish.”
  • “Stop defending and let your employees explain their thinking or their position on a topic. Try to really understand them before you rush to your own defense.”
  • “The Greek philosopher Zeno is said to have offered this advice: ‘The reason we have two ears and only one mouth is that we may hear more and speak less.”
  • “Do you offer opinions and advice even when neither is wanted? Ask a few great questions instead and listen to the wisdom emanating from your talented employees.”
  • “stop doing whatever you’re doing and listen to your talented employees. (try this for a week at home, too, and watch what happens with your relationships!)
  • “What would you miss if you left this job?”
  • “What did you like best about other jobs you’ve had?”
  • “What small steps can we take to increase the value proposition for you int this job?”
  • “Tell me about a time when you really felt energized at work.”
  • “1. Met with every team member to get clear about what mattered most to them.
    2. Asked each of them to bring suggestions for closing the values gap to the next meeting.
    3. Crafted tangible work agreements with each team member.
    4. Agreed to discuss progress and revise agreements over the coming weeks and months.
    5. Committed to keep working on it until the values gap was closed.”
  • “Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name name–work, family, health, friends, and spirit–you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a robber ball.l If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls–family, health, friends, and spirit–are made of glass. If you drop these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. It will never be the same. You must understand that.” –Brian Dyson, former CEO of Coca-Cola
  • “6 of the top 10 most competitive countries in the world (Sweden, Finland, Germany, the Netherlands, Denmark, and the UK), it’s illegal to demand more than a 48-hour workweek.”
  • “The higher up you go in an organization, the more you need to let other people be the winners and not make it all about winning yourself. For bosses, that means being careful about how you hand out encouragement. If you find yourself saying, ‘Great ideas, but…,’ try cutting your response off at ‘ideas.'” –Marshall Goldsmith, executive coach
  • “Trust your employees to come up with the answers.”
  • “Manage your reactions with you yield and they crash!”
  • “Serve your employees.”
  • “See them as colleagues, not just subordinates.”
  • “Listen to and use their ideas.”
  • “Stop micromanaging.”
  • “Give the spotlight away.”






Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s